Energy Issues

 Vol. 233 No. 8

Do you meet a lot? Of course you meet a lot. Unless you are on the rig floor or running a pumping beat, that is what business is about (or so it often seems) these days—meetings. Over the last few months, I have made notes on strategies to get one through the endless meetings, strategies that not only get you through the tedium, but that actually enhance your reputation as a team player and a deep thinker. Before we talk about those strategies, however, I think it would be wise to explore the different kinds of meetings. They are:

• Real issues meetings that are held to discuss anticipated activities and to plan for successfully carrying them out. Don’t try the strategies below in these meetings.
• Feel good meetings that are called to boost team spirit. You can’t have missed them. They are the ones called, generally, by senior management—usually when you have a desk load of work to do—to assure us that we are all valuable members of the team, and that the team’s work is vital to the company, the economy, society, the country and various religious sects. They are generally “all hands” meetings, meaning that absolutely nothing gets done in the organization for at least two hours.
• Self esteem meetings are those called by your one of your superiors with the indirect (or maybe direct) intent of showing you what a good, caring, intelligent person he or she is. The meeting is, more or less, about nothing but them and, generally, revolves around their “vision” of the company and its future. 
• Then there are crisis meetings, which may often be genuine gatherings called to address a crisis, but may also be “cover your backside” meetings forced because someone in your group created the crisis. You could find out that you will no longer be gainfully employed at a crisis meeting.
• And, finally, there are the “What the %!#@?” meetings that occur from time to time.  Those are the ones that everyone leaves muttering “what the %!#@? was that about?”

MEETING STRATEGIES

Strategies vary according to the type and size of the meeting. If it is an auditorium-size meeting, strategies are fairly simple. Sit in the back— way back. Your colleagues sitting with you back there are there for the same reason, so you don’t have to even try to act like you are paying attention. Bring a good read and/or visuals, such as pictures of your kids, to exchange with your friends in the back. You might also want to bring a deck of cards. You never know when a game of poker might break out. Set your mobile phone to vibrate and program the alert to go off every couple of minutes so you can look up and appear interested should someone critical be watching. Also, make sure that you have loaded plenty of interesting apps and games. They will come in handy. You can also use your mobile to find a wireless connection and scan the net. This should get you through the meeting with little stress.

Post-meeting follow up is important. Find your best friend that you know is sitting in the front and taking it all seriously. Sound him/her out about what he/she thought of the meeting. Having done this you can speak fairly convincingly on the meeting should your boss decide to ask for your thoughts.

Meetings around a conference table are a bit trickier, but can be managed. The first rule is to sit at the end of the conference table, where there is usually room for only one chair. In that position, no one can see what you might be doing with your hands under the table. Rule number two? Carry a notebook to the meeting. Let everyone see you open it and put it in your lap. When you begin to do the fun things under the table, like playing a game on your intelligent phone, everyone will take the arm movement as intense note taking.  Rule three? Pick an under-the-table activity that is done in increments, such as a game that is done in steps or a book with, of course, pages. At the end of each game step, or page, look up and feign attention. On every third or fourth heads up, say “hmmm” thoughtfully. On every eighth or ninth heads up, turn a page in your notebook in a dramatic fashion to demonstrate the intensity and breadth of your note taking. On every twentieth or so heads up, ask “John, could you go over that point again? I want to make sure I’ve got it.”

But, what about in-office meetings with three or four participants? That’s easy. At the beginning of the meeting, announce, with some regret, that you will only be able to stay 10 minutes as you have a pre-spud meeting for a complicated deepwater well. You will get the obvious benefit while looking truly committed. If you weren’t totally committed, why else would you show up when you know you can only stay ten minutes? After ten minutes, head for the car and go get a doughnut.

Maybe you think I am pulling your leg. I most assuredly am not. I practice what I preach. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had to attend a Feel Good video conference meeting for an external committee. It was held in a conference room.  I chose the single chair at the end of the conference table. As we exited, a colleague asked me what I got out of the meeting. “Two levels higher on Angry Birds,” I replied. “You’re kidding,” she replied. “Nope,” I answered—and I wasn’t.

In an industry as complicated as oil and gas, there are plenty of legitimate meetings. But be prepared, because there are plenty that aren’t.