February 1999 Vol. 220 No. 2  Comment

R. W. Scott

Miscellany

A better way to handle the current spate of layoffs in E&P came in the mail the other day from reader Gerald Walston up Parker, Colorado, way. Gerald’s been in the business through previous panics, which may be why he’s spent a great deal of time recently in Russia and Kazakhstan. His meritorious solution:

• Get the company organization chart and red, yellow and green marking pens
• All boxes representing "creators of wealth" on the chart are colored green. "Monitors of wealth" are colored yellow. And "dissipaters of wealth" are red-lined
• Hire more geologists, geophysicists and engineers to double the green boxes, since these people find and produce the basic assets of the company
• Cut the yellow boxes in half by reducing accounting staff etc., who usually outnumber everybody else anyway
• Fire all of the lawyers, planners, assistants-to, corporate staff personnel and other assorted bureaucrats in the red boxes who unfortunately seem to control most companies.

As Gerald pointed out, you’ll note the color scheme is about the reverse of what’s happening today.

Canada’s government is about as full of dishonest environmental ding-a-lings as is ours here in the U.S. — and many elsewhere, especially the EU.

Example: As reported in the newsletter Access to Energy last December, the Canadian Minister of the Environment, one Christine Stewart, made a talk to editorial staffers of the Calgary Herald on global warming. She said "no matter if the science is all phony (emphasis on that dishonesty is ours), there are collateral environmental benefits... Climate change provides the greatest chance to bring about justice and equality in the world."

This sort of nutcake socialist nonsense is being fed to children from grade school on up everywhere. It is up to you to refute it and you’d sure better do it if you want to keep the lights, heat and AC on, and stay warm and mobile via hydrocarbon power down the road.

The world’s ten shortest books (all anonymous unless otherwise indicated):

10) Fashion guide for geologists, geophysicists and engineers

9) Making big money in the oil business today

8) Wildcat success in the Caspian Sea

7) Guide to tennis and golf resorts in Nigeria, Yemen and Iraq

6) America’s most lovable lawyers

5) Spotted owl recipes, by Cook M. Rare, EPA

4) Sensible environmental regulations, by Carol Browner, director of the directorate general of EPA

3) Science supporting global warming and Science supporting ozone depletion (tie), by Ozone Gore

2) Why Senators are so damned smart, by Trent Lott

1) Character counts a whole lot, by Billy Jeff Clinton

More Ozoners. Just before he took office in 1993, Ozone visited Thomas Jefferson’s home, Monticello, down in Virginia. Guided by the fellow who runs the place, as reported by The American Spectator, Ozone ran on to three marble sculptures and seriously asked one of his usual stupid questions, "Who are these people?" His shocked and amazed host replied quietly, no doubt, so too many reporters couldn’t hear, that they were George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, of course.

The U.S. Mid-West has been experiencing its worst winter in 30 years. Surely Ozone will be rushing there as soon as the snow melts to explain why global warming was responsible for the whole shooting match — just as he blamed GW for the Grand Forks, North Dakota, floods in 1997.

And this is the clod who’s leading the pack for the democrat presidential nomination in 2000. Good grief.

China has solved the Y2K problem for its airlines. The government has ordered every head of every airline to be on a flight on Jan. 1, 2000. Brilliant, that.

Reader N. Pharr Smith up Dallas way recently sent us tearsheets of a Smithsonian magazine article entitled "The enemy within." It was written by one Richard Conniff, who appears to know a lot about entomology. The article was about termites. Its shocking revelation: "...up to 30% of the gases implicated in global warming may actually come from termite flatulence." Really. That’s what it says. And we can’t wait to see Ozone and the Draft Dodger’s proposal to tax those emissions.

According to the Harper Index back in November (via the Washington Times), when the Draft Dodger went on TV to "apologize" and offer his lame excuses for lying to everybody, 6,379,000 more people were watching professional wrestling than were watching him. Somehow this does not compute with his popularity polls, which nobody we have ever met believes.

As this was written, the Congress, the White House, and the entire U.S. government is all atwitter about Billy Jeff’s trial in the Senate. Along with all sorts of hand wringing, furrowed brows and worried looks, the politicos are bemoaning the fact that the entire government could be idle for months before getting back to work "as expected by the American people."

Hogwash. The only proposal recently from the White House has been to increase taxes on airline passengers, which doesn’t thrill any American people we know. The trial should cover every aspect of Billy Jeff’s crimes and every witness should be called and grilled so that the trial will run at least through next Christmas. Every time the Washington bunch does do anything, it either costs us money in new taxes, wasteful spending or unneeded regulations; deprives us of a bit more freedom; and further erodes the Constitution. We should be so lucky to tie them up in a 12-month trial.

Copyright © 1999 World Oil
Copyright © 1999 Gulf Publishing Company